merry christmas 2011…
There are three photographs on our refrigerator door that speak volumes about this last year. The first is a shot of two men on skis, they’re leaning against each another. It’s a picture of my brother and me, taken last year about this time up in Winter Park. It had been a hard day of falling and getting back up, not to mention the fact it was 9 degrees. But we made it and someone in our family grabbed the camera and said hey, hold still and we did, but only by resting our shoulders against each other. That may be the way any of us make it, huh? Somebody to lean on. I cherish that picture of my brother as I cherish his life. I am tender every time I look at it.
The second photo contains the faces of three people I know quite well. Their names are Will, Abbey, and Sarah. The setting was Easter and they all three have on fancy clothes, at least fancy for Coloradoans who live in boots and fleece most days. Will (soon to be 15) and Sarah (13) are the bookends, two kids who’ve grown tall all of a sudden and I’m not ready for that, but it happened anyway. They’ll both be in high school next year…my lord. Abbey (9) is sandwiched between her brother and sister in the photo, just shy of a head shorter in height. While they all look swell in their get-ups, the heart of the picture is their smiles. I probably said something coarse to make them grin, but they’re grinning nonetheless. Our children do that a lot, grin that is. Not everything’s perfect by any means, but our kids seem happy. You can tell the difference between a smile and a pose.
The last shot was taken in Fayettville, Arkansas. Meredith and Will flew back to the motherland for the Arkansas/Auburn game. Meredith’s family picks one game each fall to descend upon reunion style. Meredith and Will both have on razorback t-shirts and the mother’s son is taller than her by inches. They cheered the Hogs to victory, but more importantly got to see our new nephew and niece, as well as a great aunt. That aunt, Libby, passed away several days ago. Meredith is so grateful she got to see her one last time. Meredith has on sunglasses in the photo, mainly because she’s stylish like that, but also, I believe, because life is often blindingly bright, there’s so much going on, things you can see and things you can’t, football and family and birth and death, and a firstborn son looking down on you. A little shade helps you glimpse as much of the beautiful as you can while it’s there. It’s important to look and see…and say thank you.
The only other visuals on our refrigerator door are a stack of school papers to be signed, a magnet with school holidays on it, and oddly enough a cut-out drawing of two chickens scratching around for seed in a barnyard. That’s sorta what this letter feels like, a pecking around on this aging rooster’s part, trying to share some seeds with you from the texture of our lives. Have yourself a merry little Christmas, we mean that. And God bless us, everyone.
A wonderful picture and a touching letter! Love, Dad
You successfully posted a comment, Dad! Way to go…love you too.
Love the picture, John… Really miss you guys but tis great keeping in touch via both of your blogs, FB and pictures.
John — It’s been great getting to know you and your family a bit during this year in this little space. The poetry from the last few days is exquisite and earthy and heart rending and really just beautiful. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all.
Blessings!
Love to see your family (they DO look happy). Wonderful picture! Give yourself the gift of Rilke’s “Book of hours: love poems to God.” I promise you won’t be disappointed. One of the great blessings of 2011 for me was stumbling on your writing. Merry Christmas and may God continue to bless you and your family. P.S. I’ve posted some of your work to FB or Twitter and gotten (of course) appreciative feedback. Just yesterday re:deviation someone wrote, “LOVED this!!! Who IS this guy?” made me chuckle…I thought “That’s what I said!”
PSS. A favorite from “Book of Hours:”
God speaks to each of us as he makes us,
then walks with us silently out of the night.
These are the words we dimly hear:
You, sent out beyond your recall,
go to the limits of your longing.
Embody me.
Flare up like flame
and make big shadows I can move in.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don’t let yourself lose me.
Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.
Give me your hand.