not here…
I’ve come to realize my life as a succession
of Good Fridays,
dramatic blood-rusty killing fields where my personalized messiahs
take a necessary via dolorosa and wind up nailed to a tree so
the real Jesus can have a chance to be born in me today.
Lately I’ve had to crucify the get-me-a-rockin’-book-deal-jesus (hated to do that)
and win-the-mega-millions-so-i-can-retire-early-jesus (quite disappointing really). Then
there was that Friday I had to kill off the i’ve-got-a-wonderful-plan-for-your-life-jesus
(now that one was a doozie, took all day and part of Saturday).
So as you might guess that means I’ve had to pass more than
one large stone plus chit-chat with a rather annoying host of young men, all
dressed in white linen, who consistently parrot ‘not here, not here.’
If I’m honest I run from those successive Easter Sunday tombs scared as
hell because there is one who wants to meet me in Galilee but I’m
not sure I’ll recognize him when I see him.
I’ve taken off after the wrong piper so many times now.
It’s only when we are grossed out by Good Friday that we get it.
Thanks, Scott…
Yikes. I relate. It’s hard to live “not my will but Thine.”
Yikes is right, Katie…yikes indeed.
Oh my goodness! How true this is! Why do we always follow those false messiahs? They never make us happy or bring us contentment. What fickle hearts we have! Good thing he knows us so well, shows us his unlimited patience, and holds his arms open.
Melinda, mine may be the ficklest…
I believe you understand, John. I need to hear more about this annoying host of young men. I’m consistently confused between tolerating their distraction (and being horribly influenced), and blasting back only to feel chastened for expecting them to stop jabbering.
I do understand, Mick…
Lately mine has been “I’ve-worked-really-hard-so-that-must-mean-I-should-get-what-I’ve-worked-so-hard-to-attain-jesus”. Not actually sure that jesus is dead. I mean, I’ve worked really hard after all.
So, do I stop praying you get a rocking book deal?
Bonnie, if you don’t mind keep praying about that book deal…I mean, it can’t hurt, right?
Oh my word. I’m not even sure I’ve ever really nailed one to a tree. I said I have. But, I think it’s more like hauling my mess of messiahs over toward the tree, like a pile of wet laundry. I end up throwing them over a clothesline instead and pinning them down for a while … until they’re dry. Then somehow, because I can’t resist the smell of fresh air dried laundry, I end up gathering them again… making my bed, and then of course… I have to lay in it.
(How I segued to a laundry metaphor I’ll never know… but it’s late… and I’m a mom… go figure.) =)
I’m tracking with you, Patricia…I just finished shoving a buncha wet clothes in the dryer myself…thanks for stopping by.
John – thank you for your work. My good friend Carolyn McCready introduced it to me and rarely have I received a more precious gift. God really uses your words on my heart and though we have never met, I am deeply thankful for you and your ministry. I too am so afraid I will not recognize him… Thankfully he knows me.
Its good to hear from you, Jon…yes, Carolyn’s a good lady. Thanks for taking the time to write…
Map to Galilee? (Like walking to Emmaus, maybe?) Good thing we can travel together! Sharing your gift helps! Thanks, John.
Yes, traveling together eases the anxiety a little, sometimes a lot…