Dreams and Things
Before daylight took the stage
I sat as lamplight threw my reflection
in the sliding glass door looking out
on the wide world still asleep.
A darker vision of myself stared
back at me, dim but discernible.
How did I grow so old so fast?
Where is the young buck I used to be
drunk on impossible dreams and beautiful things?
How did I so fast grow so old?
Yet daylight waits for no man,
and the light always overcometh.
So my twin faded until there was
nothing to sense but everything –
a stirring world of quaking aspens
and the neighbor’s black cat padding
luckily on the fenceposts and an
older sober me rising to give myself
to needful beautiful things.
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John, I understand and ask myself the same question. My mom has dementia and I moved back to Texarkana, leaving a life in Washington that I enjoyed. I took a job that is a terrible match for me, but decent jobs in this area are limited. My son is married and has his own life. I feel like all of my happiness is in the past and I have nothing to look forward to. I remember being young, hopeful and optimistic about life. Now I feel old, alone and despondent. Somehow the dark side of life has engulfed me and I wonder if I will ever be happy again. I miss the person I used to be.
Life grows older by the minute. You can’t catch enough words to write in the moment. Life grows older the more you try and write about it; experiences out of your total comfort zone give you momentary earthly bliss but the ultimate, sustainable earthly bliss is understanding you are saved by God’s grace.
Angela, I understand this loss. Washington to Texarkana is indeed a giant shift. May the beautiful things still find you. May they rise to meet you in the darkness, revealing a path that brings comfort and solace in your ache. Blessings and presence reaching out to you now.
So glad you are writing to the universe again, John. I’m not sure if you have been away or I have — but it’s a beautiful thing to read words that speak for so many of us . Thank you !
“needful beautiful things”
amen and amen.
Ah…breath to the lungs: “an older sober me rising to give myself to needful beautiful things.” Thank you.
John, you touched my heart. Thank you. Sally
Thank you for bringing to the light of day the feelings many of us are experiencing faster than ever anticipated. Beautifully written!