How It Is

I rolled the trash bin to the curb, proud of

myself for managing the quotidian tasks.

Then I remembered trash day’s Wednesday,

so I rolled it hangdog back to the house.

Oh well, better luck tomorrow I guess.

I rolled my mother’s trash bin to the curb

yesterday at the conclusion of my visit.

Her trash day’s today. I get some things right.

As we sat at her kitchen table she cried

talking about my dad, and the loneliness.

She said, “John, I guess that’s just how it is.”

I’d made a Sam’s Club run for her—her

firstborn magi bearing gifts of toilet paper,

trash bags, Cascade pods, and Nexium.

Supplies to last a widow woman for weeks.

I helped her put them away, a place for

everything, then took the trash to her curb.

On the walk back to her house I thought even

the house looks lonely. I guess that’s just how it is.

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7 Comments

  1. allison on January 25, 2022 at 8:35 am

    i hear you
    i can relate
    such simple gestures
    ordinary words
    but there is such a tender tragic beauty in them

  2. Renee Roberson on January 25, 2022 at 9:26 am

    Yep…and it sucks!

  3. Ray on January 25, 2022 at 9:43 am

    Blaise your lucky I get a guilt trip on occasion from my mother, but I take like a man regardless but I also relate totally with every word u have written here be well

  4. Lynda Smith on January 25, 2022 at 10:17 am

    You guys are close by now and that takes some of the loneliness away.

  5. judy burke on January 25, 2022 at 1:19 pm

    Oh how I ache for all of you and Anna my heart is broken in a way only widows can be when they have loved the very best and now must share the widow’s journey and the harder – the greater the love the harder it is. 14 years and the one bright spot for me is that I am one day closer to our Heavenly Father and my husband, friend, and soul mate. The smallest things family can do that Anna wishes or agrees to will be such a blessing so try as I know you will after all how many years did they do for each of you out of pure LOVE – many times that was a struggle you had no idea about until now that you have a family. God Bless each of you ! Please keep writing

  6. alice scott-ferguson on January 25, 2022 at 3:13 pm

    Starkly silhouetted words against an ever-lightning sky! Love🎈🎈

  7. Sherrey Meyer on January 27, 2022 at 8:20 pm

    Your words brought back memories of my mom after my dad died. So many years together, and suddenly separated by death. How it is. And thanks.

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